Georgia Mulholland

LESS THAN AN HOUR TO GO - WOOOOOOW! I'm in love with Albert and I think Marianne is so cute with such a good body.

My Christmas present is going to be losing half a stone so that I weigh 105pounds. This isn't exactly asking for much, is it? Feel really down tonight because I ate pizza then chocolate for dinner after not eating all day, but I didn't purge, and I'm really trying to focus on not purging because I can't KEEP going on like this. It's up to me to try to stop the circle of not eating, then binging, feeling guilty and shit, then purging, then doing it all again. I wish food didn't exist, but I have to accept that it does exist and I have to control what I eat. So I'm trying to focus on exercise. I'm exercising as much as possible, and food will look after itself for a while until I feel a fit better. I HATE food and I HATE weight and I just want to look graceful and elegant and slim and controlled. I mustn't get hung up on this as usual, but instead realise my goal of losing half a stone to become 7 1/2st. Going to eat 1000cals a day and exercise to burn that horrid amount off. Also, I have this fear that my scales weigh too lightly because I've eaten so much recently that I should weigh wayyyyy more then 8st.

I agree with comment below about living in a dorm together - how cool! Worked out at gym, walked the dog and rode the horse today.. and I've just eaten a pear all day and drunk tons of water. Experimenting with a new teeth whitening kit this evening... Hoping it will help me not to purge, because my teeth have been sensitised enough by urging already, and bleaching them and purging will prob make it worse?? Think I'm going to go to bed soon incase I eat anything.

Also, is Hoddia good? Saw some in a shop today and was wondering... I use Adios - don't think they work particularly but too scared to come off them incase they do work :S.. confusion!! Cara XX

Have been switching between fasting and restricting severely, with as much exercise as possible, since Monday because I went out last night and knew I'd meet up with this guy who I've realllllly liked for a whole year. Was feeling great because my hip bones were much more protruding, and my ribs were stciking out of my top, and it felt so amazing to brush my hand along them and feel results - it made it soooo worthwhile. So just keep going girlies, it REALLY is worth it and hard work always pays off.

Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.

Loving reading eveyrone's posts. Today ate nothing until dinner time when I had to eat curry with my parents - it was horrible having to eat it after I'd spent all day being happy with myself for avoiding food, but it was def easier than trying to get out of eating it, as Mummie was being annoying because I had no lunch. Purged afterwards though - didn't intend to esp as I'm trying so hard to slowly stop doing this, but I was overwhelmed and had to. Feel great now, despite having given in and purged. Love to everyone and much luck xx

I'm 8 1/2 stone and I want to die I'm so fat. I NEED to lose weight so badly. I need to be 7 1/2. I'm just not going to eat anything except fruit when I'm really despairate. Does everyone find that it's the first half-day or so that's hardest to fast, then it gets a bit easier? I've been looking at loads of gemma Ward photos and photos of me when I was thin and it's made me really determined. If anyone would like help or to fast with me or anything it's cara_mclaughlin@hotmail.com. I've got MSN too. Regards xx

I CANNOT STOP EATING. I'M SO FAT.

I've been so good all day - I've only had water to drink and have eaten nothing except 4 pieces of chocolate. I didn't mean to eat the chocolate, I sort of had it eaten before I thought about it. Went to gym and burnt 300cals, and now Mum has made dinner and I'm scared because I can't ruin what I've achieved today and yet I won't be able to refuse dinner without arousing suspicion.

I'm so motivated to lose weight right now. I've drifted along accepting my fatness for too long. I hate myself because I'm fat - I can feel rolls, and pinch chunks of fat everywhere around me. I truely disgust myself. It doesn't have to be like this - life can be good, I can be thin. I'm going to stop eating for as long as possible, and only eat fruit if I really need something. Sometimes I want to kill myself I'm so fat - I feel so lousy and stupid and disgusting and like such a failure. All around me I see skinny people nd know taht they are better than me. It's so screwed up.

I'm doing a three-day fast, starting tomorrow morning when I get up and lasting until Friday evening. I need to kick-start myself because I've put on soo much weight recently! Can't wait to start- I'm feeling really positive.
Well done everyone who's doing well!! XcaraX

Today I'm off school on Study Leave. Got an exam tomorrow, so am revising this morning then riding with my cousin in the afternoon. Decided to try a Juice fast so have been drinking water all morning and had glass of squeezed orange. I'm going to try to hold out because I know I'll feel soooo much better if I do. I focking hate revising btw!!

I just can't stop eating. I really knew help. I'm so fucking miserable because it's like the more i try not to eat, the more I end up eating.. I'm such a failure and I hate myself and I just want to be thin and can't.

Ok so had three days of not eating very much which felt GREAT- empty and really really statisfying and rewarding. then ate on sunday because was with family. today had toast for breakfast and was forced by my best friend to eat a chicken tikka samwidge for lunch- it took me 2 hours to eat it because i ate it so slowly. then tonight i went to the gym and had to eat because was having dinner with my family- had literally about 5 forks of spag bol.. thought this was he best i could do in circumstances. then had choc bisc and made myself sick. my tummy is sticking way out, i feel so fat and horrible and i just feel awful- it's hard for me to break the eating habits, but when i'm doing well i do really well and it's so worth it. urg! going to having shower and go to bed!! i hope tomorrow not to eat anything.

Haven't been on here in ages, but have decided to come back to it as proanorexia really, really helps. I know I've put on weight recently and then I saw photos of myself from Christmas time and I look sooooo much better. I was half a stone lighter and so much better looking. I don't know how I can walk around the way I look at the moment. So, anyways, decided to get back on track, and find thsi really helpful. I'm 5'4'', and weigh 119 (heaviest ever weight). Short term goal: 112. Long term goal: 105. There! I know this isn't very aspirational of me, thus it should be easy, and I will be so mcuh happier when I lose weight again.

katemoss, i feel awful if i run on an empty stomach too, and it's really depressing when you haven't eaten that you can't run as far or as fast. if i run i get a really tight feeling in my stomach and then feelings of faintness down my legs and in my head - it sucks! i find that fast walking instead of actual running is ok.
i've just eaten 5 cookies, because i'm such a loser in the evenings that if i dare to look at food i sometimes just splurge and binge on crap, even after a really successful day of eating only fruit, so i purged in a panic and, altho i feel minorly better for getting rid of all of that crap, i scare myself because i lose control so drastically and easy sometimes.

God, how I hate myself. I have been 8 stone for a few months and it is my goal to be 7 and a half but i just can't do it... i ate over christmas and spent a week hating myself and watching myself get fatter and i tried so hard to purge but it only worked little bits. anyway, weighed myself at gym yesterday and i'm about 3 or 4 pounds over 8 stone so i completely wanted to die and it confirmed how i hate myself..... grrrrrrrrr........ anyway, i'm starting again. i WILL be 7 and a half stone and then i'll be happy. anamakemepretty im going to try your recommended diet, thanks! my downfall is chocolate. i never ever want to eat, except that i can't resist chocolate. i'm pathetic.

Last night I finally succeeded in making myself purge after a year of trying. Someone here suggested using fingers instead of toothbrush, and it so works, although it's quite upsetting putting yourself through the horrible effort. I feel so relieved though, because I know that if I lose control of my eating I can deal with it by being sick, which makes me less panicky! I know it's not a solution, it's just a comfort for when I need it. I hope everyone's ok out there...! xox

Today I was with my boyfriend, my bestfriend and her boyfriend, and my bestfriend said "Omg I'm so fat" and my boyfriend said "Omg you'r so not, it's just that being around Cara of course you think yourself fat".... and I was like ahhhhhh I'm sooo happy! and I said "what do you mean...?" and he was like well your so slim... utter, sheer happiness! I'm never eating again in my life. yay yay yay!!!

Just a message to say well done to everyone who was strong today - I have so much respect for you all and you all deserve so much praise. The feeling of an empty tummy is so satisfying. I had a crap day today, complete binge after such a good start, but there's always tomorrow and it's detrimental to our progress to dwell on what we've already done. Yours, miserabley... Cara xx

I'm so fucked up. I fasted for 11 hours today, from when I got up at half 7 until half 6 this evening. I went to the gym and burnt off 200kcal running and 100 rowing and did lots of arm exercises, then I came home for dinner and thought Ohhh a little roast beef dinner will be Ok, so I ate a little, then ate a kiwi because I convinced myself it was Ok as it's healthy, then my greataunt arrived with a tin of Cadbury Roses. By nature I'm a compulsive chocoholic and I begged that the tin wasn't opened, but it was and I ate and ate and ate and ate until I was nearly sick.

I've spent ages trying to make myself purge but I can't. I wretch and wretch but nothing comes up.